In this complicated world

                                                      By Ivyfantasy   

                                                           written on 2006/6/22

  Taking stock silently,suddenly I am aware that there is only two weeks to go before the two-month long vacation falls.needless to say,every burden-striken student is longingly and joyfully painting a scenario of the great and tempting vacation.and somehow,be it an exageration or not,it is no rare case to catch students gossiping around and bursting into laughters now and then at the prospect of it. I am a student and I am no exception,but to some degree,I,for one,am not that aspiring for it.in the past,I had thought I would not have had such feelings.how many times I have claimed that I wanna be given the chance of sitting alone,quietly yet contemplatively.and my home may probably be the best prescription.i thought I would not swerve from my original promise of a solitary existance.however,in the thought of the things I have to confront with with courage and braveness,I hesistate,and I tremble.In the breeze,branches of willow trees by the bank of the lake of this summer,are swaying and so is my belief being staggered.how I yearn for a re-unit with him yet I cannot,for I am conscious that our so-called re-unite-to-be will only add up to the worsening status quo of the wound-striken heart…and my heart is so deeply hurt that I can’t afford another time of being hurt…

    I own him too much to square him up…and this,in turn,has culminated in the deadweight in my heart and it has been weighing heavily ever since,so,I’ve been suffering inside.bitterness is running rampant in my fragile heart,and I am engulfed.taking a breath of relief is no easy job for me and thus I have well acknowledged that in the world of misery,there is no ending at all.the sense of eluding and dogding is getting increasingly stronger within me.yet,nowhere can be my harbor…

    Upon the rivulet I am standing,intensely gazing at the water.ripples are expanding in all direction and so is my melancholy…

    Let me drown my melancholy then…yet I am no libai…or at the least,I share nothing in common with that great writer with splendid resplendence…

    In the world of remorse,there is no way back…In the world of affection,where can be my harbor?god bless him…and I will definitely bless him…for all that I had done in the past…for all of my remorse for him…

 Euphony is dying out afar,and so is the guilding light of my heart,fading…